Cbest Essay Experience In Life
I need help with my essay. Thanks a lot.
Some students can look back in their years in school and pinpoint one particular course or one particular teacher most instrumental in shaping their lives. Reflect on your own years and focus on one such instructor or course. Describe the conditions or qualities that made that particular experience or teacher special.
People often asked me, "Who was the person that inspired you to be a teacher?" I immediately replied, "Oh, he is Dr. Albert, my college math professor." His real name is Dr. Albert but my college friends are fond of calling him Mr. Mathematician. He was my college professor for two semesters. He taught tough subjects like Advanced Statistics and Advanced Calculus. Now, you have an idea why we called him Mr. Mathematician. For me, he was Mr. Awesome as he touched my life magnanimously. He had a great impact in my life for being an exceptionally smart person, a fantastic joker and conversationalist as well as a dedicated teacher.
He was the smartest among all my professors. He graduated with a Doctorate Degree in Mathematics at Harvard University. Nowadays, we barely meet someone who excels in Mathematics, enjoys the subject and makes Math enjoyable for everyone. I reminished a difficult math problem which I could not comprehend. He noticed my tensed face and approached my desk . He gave me a pat to relax me for not catching up with the Math problem. He politely asked my seat mate to help me out. He ensured me that there is no reason to be embarassed. That incident gave me confidence to seek help and to speak up whenever I find math difficult.
What I liked best is his sense of humor. Have you seen someone crack math jokes in the middle of an exam. His jokes fill the room with laughter and lessen the tension. It made everyone relax and enjoy the day without worrying if we fail or pass the exam. Along with his sense of humor, he is also a good conversationalist. I remembered his unique teaching style, he begins his Math lesson with a 10 minute chat. He practically talks about everything from relationships, service to God, career path and even the latest fashion.
But above all, I have not met anyone that matches his dedication as a teacher. Since Math is a hard subject, he pulled up an extra remedial class for everyone. He was always available during our consulation hours from Mon-Fri. He freed up his Saturday afternoon voluntarily to conduct review sessions and extra problem solvings. He came up with the idea of conducting extra sessions, even when the school would not pay for his extra hours. Once, he told the class "The extra hours are voluntary; nobody is obliged to attend but it would help you a lot. All I wanted is to ensure that you learn something and hopefully pass the exam." Indeed, everyone in class ensured their presence since we knew we will learn much from him.
I will always give back Dr. Albert the credit due to him. He motivated me to pursue my course. The idea of teaching Math for me was something vague during my childhood. But because of his examples, I became a Math teacher and valued my job as a teacher. For me, he was truly a role model with his exceptional intelligence, good sense of humor and dedication as a teacher. A teacher like him deserves a big applause for shaping students' lives.
I need assistance with the essay portion of the CBEST. I got a really, really low score the first time I took the essay CBEST section. What failed me, according to the essay score card, was the grammar requirements of the test. Things such as punctuation, spelling (I am a horrible speller), and most importantly syntax. It is especially difficult for me to make improvements in this area because I am not a native speaker. :( This is why I am particularly interested in corrections regarding the grammatical structure of my writing. I am sure that my essay is far from perfect in all other areas, but it seems that biggest obstacle at the moment is my grammar skills. Ill be posting few essays in the next couple of days. Thank you so much for your feedback!!
Many childhood experiences leave lifelong impressions on people. Write an essay in which you describe a memorable childhood experience its effect on your life.
Some experiences in childhood may leave lifelong impressions. The best of these events have the power to shape our lives, and provoke life style changes that influence us for the better. Hiking and camping with my parents for a first time when I was young was one such positive experience. I was a ten years old kid at the time, who was mostly interested in playing video games, and had no desire to explore the mountains. My mother and father usually had a tough time forcing me to go out of the house, so convincing me to spend a week hiking was naturally difficult. However, our best friends, another family with a son who had such introverted tendencies, joined forces with my parents and finally we all went on the trip. The following week, I fondly remember as one of the best weeks in my childhood. On the second day we camped out near a lake surrounded by a dense forest. I had never been in areas so further away from a densely populated city. The lake was calm, there were only a few fisherman near by. We got to see wild deer and even a fox darting across the bushes. The surrounding mountains were beautiful. All of a sudden, for a first time I felt truly relaxed, and I realized that there was so much nervousness and stress in me that I never knew I had before. Within a few days all of my worries had left me, and I even felt sorry that my vacation will soon be over. I cannot say that after I got back home I stopped playing video games, but I did change my old ways for the better. I continue going to the mountains to this day. Ever since that week I have always been drawn to remote places as a way to recharge and reconnect with nature. Nowadays, whenever I go to a foreign country, I am often interested in exploring hiking trails. My lifestyle has definitely changed a lot since the time I was a teenager. It all started from a single trip to the mountains in my youth.
Some experiences in childhood may leave lifelong impressions.
Don't repeat the prompt.
You can start like -- Some events have the power...
Hiking and camping with my parents for the first time was one such positive experience
I was a ten-year-old kid at the time
"Nearby" is one word.
thank you for useful the feedback! I did not know most of the stuff you corrected. I was wondering, just as I mentioned in the beginning of my last post, did you find any incorrect use of tenses, articles and so on? I am trying to determine did I failed the cbest due to a lot of misspelled words and punctuation problems or more serious grammar errors. Thanks once again!
After this sentence, I think you should add a thesis statement that intriguingly expresses the main theme of the essay:
My mother and father usually had a tough time forcing me to go out of the house, so convincing me to spend a week hiking was naturally difficult. (add thesis sentence, a sentence that you would use if you were only allowed to write one sentence instead of a whole essay).
Know what I mean? And then this would be the beginning of paragraph 2:
However, our best friends, another family with a...
Here is a nice change to make:
All of a sudden, for a first time I felt truly relaxed, and I realized that there had been so much nervousness and stress in me that I never knew I had.
If you can connect the mountain theme with your chosen area of study or professional field, it will be even more impressive.
Kevin, thank you so much for the feedback! Those were all very useful corrections!
Hello, I too have taked the cbest. What I do know is that you have to have the following:
Intro paragraph (at least 3 main ideas)
Body paragragh ( 3 main idea paragraphs discussing the main ideas)
So, a total of 5 paragraphs.
overall your essay has a flow. I believe CBEST test graders based on the books I used , they all insisted on an introduction( where you state three points), in the body paragraph( where you develop each point that you stated in the introduction) the most important is to use examples , facts, statistics... to support your main point in each paragraph. These examples should fit all the main point of your paragraph and also stay focused on the topic. You have to make sure you write three paragraphs. Then At the end a conclusion( where you summarize all your points) you just restate what you just said differently. In Narrative I noticed That you used some vivid language, some descriptions.
In another word The CBEST essay graders are looking for the format not the ideas. How the writer present the ideas following their guidelines. If you check their official site in the writing section they have a form off rubric.
Your essay has a flow, but I believe It will be better to show 5 paragraphs essay.
Introduction: Introduce your topic . State 3 points that you will develop later in your body paragraph
Body : Develop the 3points you mentioned in your introduction
Each paragraph should have a main idea illustrated with examples. each paragraph should tied with the main topic.
Conclusion: summarize your topic in one sentences, restate your main points differently, then one or two sentences talking about the future.
This format can be used in argument essay and also in narrative with some minor changes.
Best of luck in your test